Sunday, March 11, 2012

Baby steps. Dum dum dum.

I still sometimes have to pinch myself when I suddenly realise that I am walking about all alone, sometimes very late at night (everything beyond six is late where I come from, and certain hours are not to be seen at all) in a city as big and strange to me as New Delhi. I can’t believe that I earn a salary, or that I spend almost everything I earn before the month is out. I can’t believe that I am answerable to people and that I could be fired for not doing what I am told to. It is all very strange.

I am the fish that is out of water and in denial.

I had never ever worked in my life. In fact I was brought up with a certain disdain for earning too much, or sacrificing anything of your self for a job. My parents, though both of them work, lead fairly flexible lives. Most of my uncles are always home though they seem to have enough money to pay for their household expenses, or to give money away grudgingly to old destitute relatives, young, errant sons and married daughters who wished to acquaint themselves to the comforts of microwave ovens. Others in the extended clan hold government jobs. They rarely seemed to stress out over their jobs. Growing up, it always seemed to me that most of my family members, my uncles and father especially, worked to keep up appearances or have something to do during the day. But I always did want a job, to have money to buy clothes and books and travel. Then as I grew up I realised I would much rather be a student than a work horse for anyone. Then I realised that I had to find a job, it was sort of expected. So I applied, stressed out, cried, bawled, cursed and finally got a job. I was told to ship myself off to this strange, dusty city. I was thrilled of course, and also determined to hate the place. That was something I always planned on doing, hating Delhi’s guts. Kochi was home and no one was going to make me like Delhi.

...

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Aye'm not exactly back :P

http://life-in-general-india.blogspot.com/2010/05/ayem-back-back.html...

Aye looked down a again to see how YooHoo was faring.

Uh Oh.

A spoon now descended into the soup; scooping soup, laced with pepper, herbs and a tiny YooHoo, and carrying it into the giant’s mouth.

A strain of regret of entered Aye’s mind. Poor YooHoo. A tragic end to his first day. Oh well, what could he have done anyway? The kid was dumb as a fire fly. He would have killed himself before reaching maturity one way or the other. Too bad though. Aye shook his head from side to side; “tch , tch” , and then walked back into the girl’s head, thinking.

He was not sure how long he’d last this way. Hunger was spinning his head. He imagined great volcanoes of acid bursting inside his tummy. Tired, he leaned against a strand and closed his eyes.

He didn’t know when he had fallen asleep, but Aye woke up to find water all around him. He jumped up in panic. There was water flowing down through the hair canopy above him; waterfalls breaking out all around. Aye clambered up through the wetness and reached the surface. He poked his head out through the tangles (which were all the more tangled now for the wetness) and tried to breathe. But as soon as his head was out, a torrent of water hit him on the face and he lost his balance. “Help!” Aye slipped over the slick surface of the giant’s hair and flowed down in a stream.

“Nooo…!”, he screamed into his own head, too tired to shout out anymore. What was the point? He was screwed. The day just kept getting worse every second and no one would help him. Here he was now, upside down and free flowing down on a water ride from hell. The day’s events flashed through his head. A small misstep had landed him in the state he was in, now. Then ahain, what was there to live for anyway. He’d been missing for hours and he was sure no one at the colony had even noticed. It’s not like he brought back a dead butterfly every day or was even on the queen’s good books.

Aye sniffed sadly and indifferently gulped down some of the water which filled his mouth. He then looked down to see where he was headed to. A cold hard floor faced him. He almost fainted in terror. “I am going to die!” Aye tried to crawl up but was pushed down by the water .In a desperate attempt he plunged his jaws down on the hair strands only to find himself biting down on sheets of water which now carried him down with even more force.

Oh no…Help!... somebody!

Just then the giant shook her head, throwing off drops of water, inside one of which Aye was caught. He flew for a split second and fell hard against a furry surface.

Aye now bit down on it with all the strength that was left in him.

Where was he? And what now? The way the day had progressed so far, he was sure a lizard was going to swoop down to eat him up right then. He opened his eyes slowly and tried to find out what he was biting on to. He hoped with all his heart that it was nothing alive. “No god, no.”

Aye sighed in relief to find that he hadn’t plunged his mouth onto a squirrel or dog (as much of it as he could fit in his little jaw). Phew! It was only a piece of furry cloth that he had been thrown on. He loosened his jaw grip and spit out the cotton he had chewed up, and then straightened his head to look around.

“Ouch”

His neck hurt. All of his body hurt. The bubble flight and the water ride that went before it had twisted every joint of his out of shape. He rubbed the water out of his eyes and tried to focus. Nothing. Everything was a haze. He couldn’t make out where the hell he was. The room was too bright and cloudy. He squinted and tried to feel his way around. Thankfully furry hairs of the cloth he was on were nice and grippy and he was sure to not fall off. He had to decide what to do next.

“Do I go up or down from here?”

It was all the same effort whether he went up or down but if he went down he probably would have to jump on to the the floor to escape, and if he jumped down to the floor, there was a high chance the giant would plod him to pulp or send him off to some strange lands with the water that was falling all over the place. Water. "No water, please thank you". He hated water. On top of everything else, it messed with his antennae. Soggy antennae made him see ant trails where there was none. This one time when they got wet as he was trying to carry a piece of carrot off the kitchen sink, he actually went and bumped into a measly black ant and said hello to him thinking it was an ant from his own colony. The embarrassment. Oh but what he would do for a piece of carrot now. Sigh.

Aye realised that his mind was wandering again. This was no time for indecision. The last time he waited too long he ended up on a hairy head. It was time to get moving and upwards he would go.

He used all his strength and climbed up through the furry green cloth. It smelt weird and reminded him of the giants head. He realised suddenly that he had finally escaped from her head. Oh thank you gods! He did not know how long he had been stuck there. It felt good to be free. As he walked upwards, he wondered what the troopers were up to right then. He even thought about the queen. God save her big fat belly.

He found himself standing on a bridge-like thing on which the furry cloth was hanging. There was steam everywhere around, clouding his eyes. Through all the mistiness, he could vaguely make out some landing at the other end of the bridge.

“It is a longish way off,” he thought to himself and considered what to do. Going down was out of the question he thought, but looked down for a second just to be sure. A few drops of water jumped at him. Definitely not a good idea, this going down. The only option was to walk straight across and reach the landing.

Aye swallowed his fear of things he couldn't see clearly and slowly walked along the pole to the other end.Breathe. Breathe. It is not that bad, he told himself. You can do it. Just keep going. That's right.

He was soon almost at the end of the bridge. All he needed to do now was walk the last little bit and then climb on to the wall there and walk a little more. Then he could walk along the landing there which all the bottles and stuff and climb out through the window behind it or go up to the ceiling. Yes. It was all going to be alright again.

Aye quickened his pace in eagerness. But suddenly there was silence all around him. The water had stopped. Uh oh.

Before Aye could figure out what his next step should be, a hand (the giant's of course) reached for the furry cloth. Aye tried to scamper off the furry cloth. But the hand had already gripped it.

“Oh no!.. Get away from me you big bully, you. No!” he shouted loud enough to scare even himself.

The furry cloth was jerked off from under his feet in a swift moment. Aye flew into the air, screaming. He went up in lightning speed and came crashing even faster. He looked down even as he tried to fly back up. It was no use. Aye sighed. There was no escape now. He was done. Here he was to meet death; drowned in a pool of smelly water, squished by a giant, no one to mourn him.

Aye closed his eyes in fright and gave up. He soon hit some surface with a thud, butt-first. Ouch. That hurt. He closed his eyes and waited to see if he would die. Was he dead? He had no idea what it was like to be dead. Was it just keeping your eyes shut and staring into black? It was not even black what he was staring at, he was seeing all kinds of crap. Should he take the risk and open his eyes? What if he was lying in pieces on the floor? That won't be such a pleasant thing to wake up to, would it?

Before Aye could answer himself, a strong butt-kick put him feet up on the ground again.

“Get on with it, you lazy ass, what the hell do you think you are doing?” a familiar voice shouted. Aye opened his eyes.

It was a supervisor ant. His head was still wobbly from his fall and Aye could barely make out the what was a happening. "Where am I?" The beefy supervisor ant answered with another swift kick on the butt and Aye found himself among a line of troopers, all going into a hole in a corner of the room.

From behind him, the supervisor yelled. His ears were still ringing but Aye could very well imagine the profanities that a supervisor would heap on a trooper he found 'napping' wrong side up near the trail. But he didn't care. He had found his way back to the colony!

Continued

Sunday, October 10, 2010

New city, silly old me

Part One, hoping there's a two and a three.

My first impressions of Chennai were on the lines of “Ooh, I want to live here!”. As unbelievable as it may sound to some of my friends, I am not making this up. That is exactly what I told myself when I sat in a plush bus on my way to keep an interview date at a Chennai college ( the one I hoped to get into) from the railway station. It was a good city I had heard, and unlike my ‘city’, it was city: Old magnificent buildings, a formidably noisy railway station with a clock tower and metal detectors noone cared about, Large libraries, A Mc Donald’s and KFC at every stop, Statues, Consulates, the works. I was impressed. I was also impressed, though in a different way, by how chaotic and dirty the city was. As the train approached Chennai central from the outskirts, sights of garbage—spread around the tracks, filling up water ways, being waded in by fat cows and lived over in shacks by poor—greet the sleepy eyed passengers. Almost all waterways were clogged, not by garbage alone but by small shacks built on land reclaimed with garbage on the sides, the settlements slowly expanding until water could flow no longer. The poor seemed to me to be living along these veins going into the city, their settlements crowding around and choking what looked like canals, even near the plusher, ‘malled-in’ areas.

I can’t say I am fond of cities much, and Chennai was very much a city. But I didn’t care. I had always wanted to leave Kochi. That desperation, the desire to break out of my parent’s control, was what made Chennai so attractive. I wanted to leave and wanted to be free- to write and travel and to drink or smoke or have torrent affairs if I wanted to. The possibility of discovering an alien world and supplanting myself into it with ease (hopefully), maybe even discovering a thing or two about me in the process, was essential to my idea of adulthood. I wanted to shed my old self a little and take on a new shell. There had been ideas in childhood of what growing up was- fantasies that I would drastically alter myself and turn into some gregarious sexy woman all of a sudden. These were never far from my mind. Big city, new improved me!

The move to Chennai however, when it came, turned out to be as non-radical an experience as a trip to the loo. If anything, the packing was the event; making lists, stubbornly noting down things I wanted, stitching clothes, worrying about clothes, worrying about irritating roommates and hostel bathrooms. Then there were the relentless goodbyes. Some were indifferent, some left me wanting to leave all the more and some, well one to be exact, left me with sadness and optimism. When the train left for Chennai with me and the bags, friends waved from the platform; smiling wide until I could see them no more. The weather was pleasant, fellow travellers absorbed in their thoughts. I tried to remember the ones I would miss much in the months to come. Almost all were leaving Kochi one by one as I was, so it didn’t matter where I went and how far. We’d have been a phone call away( and that is a long distance I know) even if I had stayed back.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Saro

Saro stood outside Amminiyamma’s kitchen. The window was closed but she could hear the sounds from inside. Smoke rose temptingly from the chimney above. It was close to noon; the crows busy on the trees above. Some had even settled down on trees around the kitchen, awaiting scraps periodically thrown into the plantain bed from inside.

Saro scratched her bare midriff. Her once white dhothi and the blouse above it were a muddied brown. She waited impatiently for someone to appear, coughing and murmuring to herself. Was there no one home? But the door was open. Saro's stomach growled; she had not gotten anything to eat since the last afternoon.

“ammo…” She called. Where the hell was everyone? Abuses crowded Saro’s tongue. She let them out under her breath, unable to restrain herself. She glanced into the house in her characteristic way; tilting her head to the side, not looking at anything directly. Her mouth was pointed to the ground and a stream of whispered abuses sputtered forth from it periodically.

Amminiyamma lifted head head from the stone pestle on which she was grinding pepper and listened. There was someone outside.

“I’m coming”.

She washed her hands in a basin nearby and hurried to the kitchen door, wiping her hands on the end of her cotton saree. The light fell bright into her eyes as she emerged from her dark kitchen to see who her visitor was. It was the old pulayi, Saro.

Saro looked up and grinned, gaps showing where her front teeth used to be. Her one good eye beamed. The other was half closed, watery green and white inside its slit. Saro looked over Amminiyamma’s shoulders in expectation.

“Wait here” Amminiyamma said and went back into the kitchen which stood to the left of the door.

The door itself opened into a dull hall outside the kitchen where Amminiyamma would sit as she cleaned fish or shelled cashews. Work was still left before she could finish lunch and go for her bath. Eleven O clock, a glance at the clock showed. Amminiyamma hurriedly put what was left over from the day’s breakfast into a plate and brought it out for Saro. It wasn’t the first time that the wretch had come to the door looking for food.

“Here, sit down and eat this.” Amminiyamma said kindly, holding the plate out for the hungry woman. Saro looked up. She had been scanning the floor of the kitchen verandah. A ripe jackfruit leant on the wall, sweetening the air. An old piece of cloth was spread underneath it and caught the sap which was oozed out thickly out from the freshly cut stalk.

Saro took the plate. Then as if on second thought, asked Amminiyamma for a piece of newspaper to wrap the food in. “I will eat when I get home," she explained.

Amminiyamma handed her a piece of paper from a pile of old things on the kitchen verandah and took back the plate.

“Is there any tea amma?” Saro asked now.

“Umm”, Amminiyamma grunted at Saro’s face and went into the kitchen. She poured the cold tea from that morning into a glass and came out. Saro took the glass of muddy brown liquid from her hands. Amminiyamma turned away.

“You must be readying lunch” Saro blurted out next, fishing for an offer of lunch.

Amminiyamma’s face hardened. “It’s not time for that yet”, she said harshly.

“Lunch! The good for nothing…”, Amminiyamma murmured to herself as she went back inside to continue from where she’d left off. “Just leave the glass there. I’ll get it later”, the old woman shouted to Saro from inside, dismissing her.

Saro put the glass down on the steps and wondered what to do next. She scratched her head and looked inside. Amminiyamma could be heard moving about in the kitchen. “The bitch!”, Saro said to herself and surveyed the yard around her. It was no use standing around at this door anymore she decided and took the little path that led from Amminiyamma’s kitchen to the gate at the back of the big yard in which the house stood.

Saro had plans to visit a house that stood near Ammiyamma’s yard, just outside the gate, but she stopped midway, suddenly remembering that she had a food packet with her. She looked around for a good spot then sat down behind a stack of wood that lay on the wayside to eat her breakfast.When she got up and to walk towards the gate on her way out after, she was greeted by the site of Gopi, Amminiyamma’s son, at a distance. He was walking towards the kitchen from the back gate.

Gopi hummed as he walked. He looked up at the mango tree on the way side and decided it was time to call someone to pick the fruits that hung down heavily from the branches, ready to be brought down. He spotted Saro coming towards him. A trifle disturbed at having been intruded upon, he moved a little to the side and kept on walking. Saro stopped and grinned at Gopi as he passed, all her teeth and the gaps in between them showing, her eyes eager. Gopi nodded and walked past, his eyes fixed on the kitchen door at a distance. A few steps later, a thought made him stop. He turned and called out to her.

“I have some work for you. Come.”

Gopi left Saro at the kitchen door and went into the store room adjacent to the kitchen to fetch something. Amminiyamma saw Gopi come in and emerged from the kitchen. Saro stood scratching her head outside.

“What is she doing back here?” Amminiyamma asked Gopi in an agitated voice, following him into the store. Gopi laughed knowingly. “Relax a bit amma. I know that your maid has not come this week. I thought I’d make this woman cut grass for the cows until she does. Now go. Just give her something to eat when it’s done that’s all.”

“The woman’s a shameless parasite”, Ammiyamma said as Gopi bustled about the store room looking for a sickle and a basket, “All she wants to do is eat without straining herself one bit.”

Gopi smiled indulgently at his mother, and having found what he was looking for, walked past her to the door.

“Do whatever you want then” Amminiyamma continued as she followed him out. Gopi was already at the door, handing her sickle and basket to Saro.

“Don’t lose my sickle” Amminiyamma said sharply to Saro, “Bring it back as soon as you’re done”.

Saro didn’t seem to hear; she was looking at ground, muttering to herself. Then suddenly, as though she’d just become aware of Amminiyamma’s presemce, she looked up and nodded.

Gopi instructed Saro to go to the southern corner of the plot and disappeared around the corner. Saro put the basket on her head and walked. She cursed her luck for the day; she should’ve just gone straight to some other place instead of hanging about here and getting into this mess. The sickle gleamed in her hand as the sun fell on it. Amminiyamma’s instructions ringed in her ear. “Her bloody precious sickle…” Saro murmured, many horrible swear words forming in her mouth. When she reached an over grown corner of the yard which she was to clear, Saro looked toward the kitchen. The old hag is probably watching, she thought to herself, and got to work. She absently hacked away at the grass till the basket filled up and then carried it to the cow shed. Gopi stood near the shed, supervising the harvesting of the coconut trees around it. Climbers were already up on the trees and bunches of coconuts hit the ground with a thud, followed by dry leaves which were also sent flying down. Saro deposited the grass on a piece of sack laid out behind the shed and went back for more.

She slowly hacked away at the ground, her ears tracking Gopi’s movements. A couple of curry leaf plants had sprouted among the grass; a rare sight since they seldom grew without much care (Amminyamma had a couple growing in her kitchen garden, tenderly cared for). Saro hesitated for a second when she noticed the prized plants, then cut them out at the root and threw them into the basket with the weeds.

An hour passed by. Saro had gone back and forth from the cow shed four times when Gopi was seen going into the house for his lunch. She straightened herself at the sight, then hurriedly hacked off some more grass and piled it on to the basket. Thoughts about lunch, the mound of rice which awaited her, made Saro’s stomach rumble and her mouth wet. She quickly got up and hobbled to the shed to the drop the cut grass. Then, sickle and basket in hand, she rushed to Amminiyamma’s kitchen door.

“Ammo...”

Her call reached Amminiyamma as she came into the kitchen after serving Gopi’s lunch at the dining table as usual. “The devil’s back”, she thought to herself. “God knows what she’s been doing all this while”

She came out to meet Saro who stood below the kitchen steps scratching her head. The Basket and sickle were laid out on the steps. Amminiyamma took these back into the store room. The warm smell of cooked fish and rice reached Saro’s nostrils. She could hear the mild clatter of dining plates from the dining room beyond the kitchen where Gopi was having his lunch. Amminiyamma took her time reordering the store room shelf and then emerged outside. She took one glance at Saro, who now grinned expectantly at her, her good eye eager, and turned away, visibly irritated.

“Sit down somewhere there. I’ll bring some food”, Amminiyamma told Saro as she entered the kitchen. Inside, she piled a large helping of rice into a plate and poured some curry over it, the way she usually did for hired hands, and took it to Saro along with a glass of water. She then locked the kitchen from outside and went out the door, leaving Saro, who sat on the steps engrossed in her meal.

Amminiyamma surveyed the cow shed. She dropped some hay into the feeding pit and stroked her two pet cows. Then she went behind the shed to do what she had really come to do; inspect Saro’s work for the day. A reasonably large mound of grass stood at the back, enough for the rest of the day and the next morning. Amminiyamma grunted and returned to the kitchen. Saro still sat on the steps, eating.

Aminiyamma went into check on Gopi and to fetch the dishes from the dining table. Gopi now came out through the back door to find Saro washing her plate at a tap outside.

“Here”, he said and handed her a ten rupee note. Saro took it with visible signs of gratitude.

“Come tomorrow” Gopi said without a glance at her and walked off. Saro put the money away into a fold at her waist. Then she placed the plate and the glass on the steps and waited. Her eyes stood on the jack fruit which still stood leaning on the verandah. “Surely, the old woman and her son can’t eat it all” she thought to herself. They will have to give some of it away.

Amminiyamma now came out to take away the plate and glass. Seeing Saro waiting, she said, “Go on now, the sun is getting stronger…”

Saro scratched her head and looked at Amminiyamma , grinning. Then giving up, she turned to go, cursing to herself.

“And come a little early tomorrow if you can Saro...” Amminiyamma added; a faint tone of regret in her voice.

Saro turned around and nodded obediently. Then stepped on to the path leading to the gate at the back and disappeared.

The next morning, Saro hesitated outside Amminiyamma’s yard. She was hungry and exhausted by the heat. The summer sun was strong above and the trees inside the yard resounded with bird cries. The prospect of cutting grass and slaving for the stern old lady all morning irked Saro. She scratched her head and looked around, trying to think of a way out.

The sound of drums beating and crackers bursting reached her from afar. There was something going on at the temple today. She was sure to get some food there if she went. Saro turned to leave. But then the ten rupees that Gopi had kindly given her flashed in her mind. No one ever paid her that way. He was kind, Amminiyamma’s son. But that old stingy bitch… The drum beats grew louder now. The old hag won’t be pleased if she failed to show up after having said she would. Saro took a peek inside through a hole in the fence and imagined Amminiyamma there inside, waiting. “Let her sit there then. Bitch!”. Saro grinned to herself. Then in a hurry, she turned to leave. But a few steps ahead, she saw Gopi’s tall frame approaching her from the other end. Saro cursed her luck and stopped. The bastard had to come now. He was sure to have had seen her. Left without a choice, she grinned at him and walked towards Amminiyamma’s kitchen through the gate, muttering fervently.

Amminiyamma had left her sickle and the old reed basket on the steps for Saro. Hearing footsteps outside she came out of the kitchen where she was hanging up a plantain bunch which had just been brought in from the yard. Saro stood below the steps, murmuring absently. Amminiyamma paid no attention to the restlessness on her face, used as she was to Saro’s eccentricities.

“What are you waiting for now?”, Amminiyamma asked Saro. “Take the basket and go to the pond side, and when you’re done, clean out the floor of the cow shed too.”

Saro’s irritation grew underneath her timid looking face. She grabbed the sickle and the basket and walked to where she was directed to. She cursed her luck. Her mouth spat out abuses on its own accord. “Wash the cow shed… The old hag!” There was no way out now, she was stuck. She threw the basket down and glanced around. Grass stood in thick, bouncing bunches all around the pond. The cow mooed from its shed a little away. Saro sat down and began her work. She hacked at the grass carelessly, distracted by the sounds coming from the temple. Her mind wandered and she thought of the afternoon feast for the devotees.

She glanced at the sky as she threw the first handful of grass into the basket. Noon was still far away. She’d have to wait at least an hour or two before the old lady gave her anything to eat. Saro's irritation grew. The thought of food made her look towards the kitchen. The door was closed now; Amminiyamma was inside. Saro looked around, there was no one in sight.

Taking the basket in one hand, she walked to the back gate, looking toward the house as she stole away. She carefully kept off the little path she’d used while coming in, lest she ran into someone on her way out. As she approached the gate, Saro was reminded of the basket and sickle still on her. A bamboo thicket stood near the fence. She threw Amminiyamma’s flying into it. She then flung the basket into a tree bed nearby and hurried out through the back gate.

At noon, Amminiyamma waited for Saro to come to the kitchen door for lunch. She then went out to look for her. The old woman searched all over to find her lost sickle, furious at Saro.

Having given up her search, she went out and bought a new sickle at the market a few days later. But it did not match up to the old one which she had had custom made. The old sickle turned up two and a half months later, as the fence was being repaired and the bamboo trimmed.

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Aye'm Back Back

Aye stood on the girl’s hairline now. He stuck his head out through the tangles and looked down. The girl was somewhere outdoors; a wind hit his face. The sea? Aye strained to get a look atwhat lay in front of him, or rather in front of the giant. And there it was again, more and more food. The girl was at it again. She sat in front of a table; food crowding around her. Crumbs lay seductivelt all over the white table. Soups glistened invitingly. Aye’s head spun a little. He forgot all about the spider for a moment as food engulfed his thoughts. . But soon dreadful noises of laughter bore into Aye’s ears and brought him back to reality and the smelly scalp. The girl was surrounded by four or five others. The head rocked as she laughed. Aye held on fast. He realized with shock that the rest of the giants were even bigger than the one he was on ( the one he was stuck on was nothing, pooh!). It was no wonder the way these things ate. "How do they find so much food?" Aye wondered; an ant would call it a lottery if he ever chanced up on on even one crumb as big as the ones that were scattered all over in front of him. Oh, to be dropped on to the table in front, to bite into something other than hair again! Ah what was the use... Aye sighed and turned.

He heart skipped a beat as YooHoo’s big fat eager face was thrust on to him, reminding him of what he was supposed to be doing. The spider stood right behind him, following Aye’s every movement;“FOOD” written on every twinkling eye of his.

“YooHoo, there you are! Now come look, look down there, do you see that?” Aye asked the spider and moved aside to give him a view.

YooHoo looked down and nodded.

“ I’m hungree…”

The stupid spider was evidently not getting Aye’s drift. The connection was lost on his his dumb head. YooHoo looked askance at Aye; a "whats your point?" expression on his face.

“YooHoo that’s food! everything down there!" Aye said in exasperation. "You and I can jump into one of those shiny things and eat all we want. What do you say?”

YooHoo looked down and inspected the table again. His brain slowly comprehended Aye’s words as his face broke into a wide smile. Aye’s relaxed.

“Alright now, come one”

Aye crept back in and walked in the direction of the girl’s ear through the dense hair; he didn’t want to be spotted by one of the giants and then smashed into a paste. YooHoo followed close behind, even with all his legs obstructing his walk. Aye’s face was screwed up; strategies forming inside his thick skull, his heart beat racing. He could only hope that the spider will refrain from eating him up until his plan could be carried up. And with all the damn hair, it was taking him forever to reach the desired spot.

After almost an hour( Ant hours, yes) of trudging thorugh treacherous knots and tangles, Aye and YooHoo safely crept down onto the girl’s earlobe and hid behind it, out of anybody’s view.

Aye sighed with relief. YooHoo waited for orders.

“Now YooHoo, here's what we will do. We’ll jump from here right into that shiny surface there” said Aye, pointing his head towards a bowl of soup. “I’ll say one, two, three and at three we jump, okay?”

YooHoo nodded. “wonetoothreee”

“When do we jump?” Aye asked again. “One two…

“Threee” YooHoo said smiling widely, the expectation of food lighting up his eyes and warming his innards.

"Okay". Aye called on the all the Ant gods he knew and took his position on the upper tip of the ear lobe, with YooHoo standing nearby, alert.

“Okay. One, Two….Three!” Aye thrust forward.

YooHoo jumped down screaming, his greedy mouth wide open to catch all the food waiting for him in the soup bowl underneath. Aye stood waving from the girl’s ear, laughing in spite of himself and wiping his antennae. Phew! There goes that idiot!

Aye watched as YooHoo landed on the soup, his puny legs propping him upon the thin film on its surface. For a minute, Aye wished he had jumped along with the dumb spider. The food. All that food. His stomach was rusting with disuse, his once shiny body was slowly shriveling. But no, it was too much of a risk. The giant was his only hope of getting back to the colony. “if only she’d get up and walk back..”

Aye looked down a again to see how YooHoo was faring.

Uh Oh.

A spoon now descended into the soup; scooping a spoonful of it, laced with pepper, herbs and a tiny YooHoo, and carrying them into the giant’s mouth.

A strain of regret of entered Aye’s mind. That poor dope, a tragic end to his first day.

Oh well, what could he have done anyway? The kid’s dumb, he would have killed himself before reaching maturity one way or the other. Too bad though.

Aye shook his head from side to side; “tch ,tch” , and then walked back into the girl’s head, thinking. He was not sure how long he’d last this way. Hunger was spinning his head. He imagined great volcanoes of acid bursting inside his tummy.

Tired, he leaned against a strand and closed his eyes.

He didn’t know when he had fallen asleep, but Aye woke up to find water all around him. He jumped up in panic. There was water flowing down through the hair canopy above him; waterfalls breaking out all around. Aye clambered up through the wetness and reached the surface. He poked his head out through the tangles (which were all the more tangled now for the wetness) and tried to breathe. But as soon as his head was out, a torrent of water hit him on the face and he lost his balance. “Help!” Aye slipped over the slick surface of the giant’s hair and flowed down in a stream.

“Nooo…!”, he screamed into his own head, too tired to shout out anymore. What was the point? He was screwed. The day just kept getting worse every second and no one would help him. Here he was now, upside down and free-flowing down on a water ride from hell. The day’s events flashed through his head. A small misstep had landed him in the state he was in, now. Oh well, what was there to live for anyway. He’d been missing for hours and he was sure no one at the colony had even noticed. It’s not like he brought back a dead butterfly every day or was even on the queen’s good books.

Aye sniffed sadly and indifferently gulped down some of the water which filled his mouth. He then looked down to see where he was headed to. A cold hard floor faced him. He almost fainted in terror. “I am going to die!”Aye tried to crawl up but was pushed down by the water .In a desperate attempt he plunged his jaws down on the hair strands only to find himself biting down on sheets of water which now carried him down with even more force.

Oh no…Help!... somebody!

Just then the giant shook her head, throwing off drops of water, inside one of which Aye was caught. He flew for a split second and fell hard against a furry surface.

Aye now bit down on it with all the strength that was left in him.

Where was he? And what now? The way the day had progressed so far, he was sure a lizard was going to swoop down to eat him up right then. He opened his eyes slowly and tried to find out what he was biting on to. He hoped with all his heart that it was nothing alive. “No god, no.”

Aye sighed in relief to find that he hadn’t plunged his mouth onto a squirrel or dog (as much of it as he could fit in his little jaw). Phew! It was only a piece of furry cloth that he had been thrown on. He loosened his jaw grip and spit out the cotton he had chewed up, and then straightened his head to look around.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Cherthala Diaries Part two- The non-adventures :D

Day 1


Cherthala’s been hit by mosquito menace this summer. The unofficial ‘National Animals’ of Kochi have taken the little place by storm. Kitchen door chit chat between grandma and the neighbours now regularly features the amount of mosquito carcasses generated in each house by the most modern of all mosquito fighting technology- the all powerful ‘bat’. This revolutionary device has made a true sport of mosquito swatting. All you do is sweep the air around in one or two graceful movements one by one and the little devils fry to death with a delightful crackling sound. Ha…

Of course here ammamma’s yet go give in to this ‘new’ technology (cherthala’s a little snailish on the tech front you see) . But she has her own version of ‘The bat’- a bat shaped contraption of her own, fashioned out of the hard part of an arecanut leaf, yes, the ‘paala’.( Actually ‘contraption’ would be a stretch, its just a ‘paala’ cut to a bat shape for use as a fan which, due to changing realities, found itself elevated to the status of a mosquito fighting device.) So instead of frying mosquitoes by swinging the bat in fluid, graceful movements, we beat them to death one by one with savage force. Ptash ! ptash! , goes grandma as she happily indulges in this exercise while watching cheesy old movies on TV. She sits there now, beating around her legs and checking to see if the mosquito on the floor’s really dead. Onscreen, Mammotty’s stealthily following the villains who raped his wife and sister, looking like a mosquito himself, with a black outfit and giant shades!

After a particularly violent thrash, grandma looks up at me, visibly amused by her new hobby. “ Our bat works well don’t you think?” she asks laughing.

“Maybe we should put up a board and sell them” I suggest. She nods and laughs.

“It’s the next big thing!”

The mighty ant population of Cherthala’s also on an upswing. The Giant( well. In ant terms, giant) red orange ‘musaru’ ants are building nests on every cashew tree, the tough black ants which go about alone and which wont die even if you hit them with a brick and stamp on top of it(guess how I know :P ) , are all over the place. The myriad of little ants also abound. In fact, the first big news from grandma’s kitchen today was that the carefully guarded sugar bottle had been hit by tiny red ants. I was given my first assignment when Grandma spread a newspaper in front of me as I sat staring with my tea on the back porch and spread the ant hit sugar on it. I am to swipe the ants away as t hey disperse from the sugar mound and spread out in panic. And these ants bite! I put my glass down and get on with it. In no time I had meticulously finished the tricky operation with minimum ant casualties. Grandma takes away the sugar; “Operation Red hunt has successfully expelled the guerilla ants”, I declare to myself. Chidambaram should really really hire me ( :P )

As I get back to day dreaming and staring at the trees, I notice that a clearly miffed ant is clinging to my ankle, biting with all its might. I stare at it for a while, too lazy to brush it away. I stare a little more. Its not very entertaining though. He/she is getting on my nerves a bit.

"stop biting me..” I tell the teeny ant. Its in no mood to listen.

I nudge it a little. “shoo…” It finally gives in and falls to the ground, then wriggles and walks away in a huff.

“I had to defend the sugar…” I whisper after it regretfully. It scrambles away angrily and does not look back.

“Can’t we atleast talk about this?”...

“Abjure violence, come for talks!.." I shout after it in a tiny voice.

Now where have I heard that before? Umm.

Day 2 and then on

On the days I’ve been here, my chief entertainment has been sitting on the kitchen porch staring at the life around, participating only when something interesting throws up (or when I am made to, by granny). The porch is good place to observe things. In front of me stretches the backyard, through it runs the makeshift lane which leads to an opening in the fence a long way off. This is the lane through which grandma’s many visitors use to make their stop over at her kitchen door. I sit on the steps looking out. A little off to my left is the large pond, filled with fish and turtle and snakes and possibly even a loch ness monster of the Alleppey variety (well it is a huuge pond), under the thick cover of water weeds. To my right is a smaller pond which only fills up during the rains. Near to it stands the fire wood shed. All around me are trees. So everyday, I sit a long while on the steps watching things develop and people come and go, while grandma buzzes about having her share of strictly ordered, efficient ‘fun’.

The first visitors to appear on a usual morning are the crows, in particular a large black ‘valluvan’ crow that stations itself on a tree near the kitchen window waiting for scraps, occasionally attempting breaking and entering into the kitchen too. Next comes the woman who sweeps the yard very morning and helps grandma with chores; she’s new, the old one’s ‘run off’ somewhere, according to you know who. As the lady goes out with a broom and pot, I am summoned in for tea. When I come back to my vantage point after a while, the scene's changed completely. The suns shining and the birds, all of them, have descended. A group of noisy, spirited birds called ‘pothaankiri’ hop about on the trees and on the yard, chirping and getting into fights among themselves and with other birds. One or two mynahs walk about with their heads high under the jack tree near the large pond. The cuckoo is already at its usual spot, a branch of the huge ‘aanjili’ tree, screaming bloody murder and biding time till its chased away by the pothankiri birds. A slim, black headed bright yellow bird comes and sits on the mango tree, chirps, looks around a bit and flies off in a hurry. A flash of blue, the kingfisher, flies across the pond with a catch as a pretty little bird, the ‘kola kozhi’ comes out of the pond and probes around in the kitchen garden. Many other shy winged things fill the air with noises unseen. Little squirrels, adorable brats, scamper up and down trees and play hide and seek.

As these inhabitants go about their business, some visitors arrive. There’s that bend, old lady who is addicted to ayurveda medicines. She stops by for some idle chat on her way to my aunt’s dispensary at the junction. Grandma, who hates being disturbed during her chores, tries to shake her off, but the woman won’t budge. She goes on and on about how her daughter in law doesn’t treat her right etc. The fish vending lady comes next. After some subtle mind games and negotiations, grandma and the lady reach a grudging compromise and she departs after unloading some of her wares. After her, the grocer comes with groceries for ‘teacher’. Later a partly blind lady drops by and hovers around for lunch. A neighbor comes to buy coconuts… the list goes on.

So today, a day as normal as any other, I sit on the steps with tea and a slightly disoriented head. I can see my uncle and grandma walking towards home through the path running to the kitchen from the opening in the fence at the end of the back yard.

“Nandu, there’s someone here to see you!” Grandma calls out. I rub my eyes and look at the approaching group. “Is that a cow coming behind them??” I go out to meet them and to see who the visitor is.

“Buffallo!” my uncle exclaims to me. So we have a new inhabitant.

I keep my distance; pets and farmyard animals were never my thing. The little buffalo is bewildered. “It’s from Pollachi”, my uncle enthusiastically explains his new acquisition. Grandma’s happy at the new arrival whose only purpose according to my uncle and her, is to clear the land around the house, which is over grown with weeds of all kinds. That’s not an unpleasant job for cattle to be burdened with, I think; laze around and eat grass, sounds good.

The little buffalo, whom granny christened ‘Panchami’ ( I have no idea what that means, neither does she), is understandably melancholy all day. It refuses all food and drinks just a little it of water. Uncle takes it down to the pond in a bid to cheer it up with a bath. No use. I try to keep it company lest it’s afraid of being left alone and try to cheer it up with grass sprigs. Panchami’s in no mood to cheer up. She sleeps through the first day and most of the next.

Grandma and I go visit her from time to time, trying to coax her into accepting food. Its her second day and we have had little success. She refuses to touch the grass and just drinks water. I stroke her head and even give her massage behind her ears to cheer her up a bit. She looks up with big moony eyes and then tries to eat my kurta. “ Now come on...!” I say and lift up her chin. The little buffalo looks up at me with such a forlorn expression that even I, the happy sunshiny cherthala version of myself, am a little depressed. Depressed by a buffalo; how strange is the world.

We need to get her to eat something I tell granny. Grandma goes around the yard and gathers what she says to be the most appealing of grass varieties. Panchami won’t even look at it. “She’ll come around” grandma says, “lets wait a while, your uncle will probably think of something”.

And uncle does. The next day, we have a delivery- hay. Uncle has ordered them to be brought to see if Panchami will take a liking to it. We take a little to her and stand away. Panchami looks at us and then sniffs the hay. Grandma, Uncle and I wait with bated breath. And Voila! She likes it. Panchami chomps it all down and looks up. Bring more, Here we go!

So hay it is. As Grandma and I wait for uncle to bring more hay, Panchami looks at us as if to say, “why couldn’t you think of this earlier you fools?”.

More hay is brought.. We watch with amusement as she eats. Suddenly uncle’s face becomes clouded with thought.

“Hay’s friggin expensive these days…”

“Umm.”

“Wasn’t she supposed to eat all the grass?” I ask aloud.

Uncle looks around, then at me and then at the buffalo.

This can’t be right...”

Oh we’re screwed.

contd

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Twist and shout

The things that should worry an average Indian are these- spiraling prices, unprecedented climate change, depletion and destruction of our fresh water resources, security. Or are they? A passing glance at the media circus would make us believe that the above said issues are mere diversions in between the all important issue of discussing celebrity weddings, cricket and useless rhetoric of corrupt, self announced protectors of our nation. Giving valuable air time or news space to real issues is mere a concession the media make to oblige boring people who want to spoil the party for us all. “80 jawans dead? Really? Vedanta usurped tribal land? Oh damn! Okay, now, lets get back to what Modi tweeted while having lunch..”

Let’s put aside the media obsession with twisting words and licking up tit bits of celebrities and other twits. What’s even more appalling and criminal is the deliberate attempts to hide truth, to keep people ignorant of things they should know and which would affect public opinion. Everybody knows the name of Shashi tharoor’s alleged fiancĂ©e, but not many people know who Srinivas Siras is. He died very recently; committing suicide after being tortured mentally and hounded out of Aligarh Muslim University for being ‘caught’ having sex with a man. The reason I bring up his name is because he’s not a rural faceless man, technically he should be on the radar of our media, for which farmers and poor people are generally not glamorous enough to be featured( they neither speak English and nor can they look good debating in a news studio). Bu for whatever reason, his death, a symbol of the extent to which institutions and society at large trespass on personal liberty and violently pursue their hypocritical , repressive views, was ignored while other issues of ‘international importance like Sania Mirza’s wedding dress took centre stage. This and other information manipulation is nothing new. It’s been hardly a week since the most gruesome Maoist attack in recent history killed more than 75 CRPF jawans. After the initial hue and cry, those lives have been forgotten. The Home Minister, under whose reign this occurred is a media darling of sorts. So lets forget that he has anything to do with this or any other terror attacks (and there are scores) and lets go hound a junior minister for wanting to marry a third time. Who cares that he is actually good at his job, he thinks we’re dopes, we’ll teach him a lesson!

Most of us live in fear of what are ‘mundane things’. Will my children have clean water to drink next week? Will the power go off as I try to study for an exam in the grueling heat? Will food prices go up again? Will my neighbour who serves in the Army come home in a flag draped box because his life’s disposable? These are trying times. To waste our time in the midst of baffling uncertainties with senseless drama is not just irresponsible, but sadistic and criminal as well.

The argument we hear over an over again in defense of news policies of most media organizations is an incoherent babble with the words ‘ratings’, ‘what people want’ etc. Maybe its time for the fourth estate in our country to admit that the so called main stream media doesn’t really give a damn about the way in which the content it churns out affects people. Don’t dish out ‘news’ to serve vested interests and then pretend to be guardians of democracy, freedom and all things good.

‘Why do we bother with news?’ is something most people I know wonder at. Maybe it’s time we stopped. That way we might actually save some trees and precious electricity. Listen to the headlines on the radio maybe, and then go plant trees or take a walk with the time usually spent on Prime time news. The circus will go on of course, but at least we won’t be the clowns anymore.